Five ways to get rid of your date !!

1) Take a novel or newspaper with you and start reading it and ignore her..

2) Start narrating her your re-incarnation and incident with ghosts story.

3) Complete your dinner with in 10 minutes and gargling with your wine. Don't forget to lick the plate afterward.

4) Ask her to dance with you on the dinner table despite of having a separate dance floor for the same purpose..

5) Last but not least, go to washroom and instead of going there book another table and order the same menu that you ordered first. And when your date sees you and comes towards you, ask her, 'what took you so long in washroom?'

Five names which Venus hate to be called as

1)Essay Writer

2)Mars

3)Jhandu Bam

4)Hitler

5)Last but not least..Tharki

PS:Just 4 fun. 

These points r from JELO. She is in office right now n is not able to come here so she just asked me to post them for her:

5 movies u must watch:

1. Dil boley haddipa : To know how n where, hair from Anupam Kher's head were used

2. Whats ur Rashi: By doing this movie Harman proved that "To err is Human but to err repeatedly is Harman"

3. Kaminye : Thif if awfome, ferioufly.... facchi

4. Wanted : United Nations marked this movie to b of Historial Importance. Its UN-Wanted

5. Wake Up Sid : Thx to Kaun-Kaun (In)Sane Sharma, it turned out to b a good movie to watch before u go to bed

Top 5 Quotes written at back side of truck

1. Roop gaya, yauwan gaya, gayi hootho ki lali
aab to picha chod de mein ho gayi bache wali

2. If U r reading this...U r still BEHIND

3. Make way ... for the lorry

4. babuji jaa rahi hoon apna khayaal rakhna,lout kar aaungi maal fir se taiyaar rakhna

5. wahi bachega jo bhole ko jachega

P.S: bhole is the name of DRIVER

5 Ways to know that u r watching Doordarshan

1. Aaj ki taza khabar.... aaj ki taza khabar... KRK k jaatey hi ghar mein kauwwo ka pravesh

2. Aayiye ab hum apko seedhey Haridwar le chaltey hain hamarey samvaad-data Moksha paratp singh k paas

3. Sarkar ne beedi k daam pachas paisey bada diye hain, aapki rai ?

4. Kya news channels ko SMS k dwara darshako ki rai janani chahiye ?
Agar apka jawab hai haan to type karein "yes", agar jawab hai na to type karein "No" aur bhej dein 6969 pe

5. Chheni Chheni.. chain se maza lo ... Chheni Chheni

1. When u see the face of a character in peices all over the screen

2. When the channel shows its own name during breaks

3. When u see tidal waves on the screen starting from top of screen n going down

4. When the channel shows only one Tickr n that is "Rukawat k liye khed hai"

5. When u see a multicoloured wallpaper atleast 12 hrs a day

5 Impacts of finding of water on moon:

1. Mountain Dew will b renamed as "Moon Dew".... Earth k aagey moon hai

2. Scinetists r now trying to find that if Moon leaked, wil it rain on Earth ?

3. Pakistan wants ICC to shift its World Cup quota matches on Moon

4. Baba Ramdev says that people shud not go on moon for water during lunar eclipse as they might lose their way

5. Isha, Ahana n Hema Malini refused to drink Moon's water coz wo hamesha Kent purifier ka hi paani peetey hain

5 things to be a Seafarer

1) World- Sara Duniya Chakkar Lagate Raho

2) Wealth- Ek Sailing Kar Liya Toh Mil Gaye Bag full of it

3) Women- Experiences

4) Water- Jitna Chayiye Usse Zyada Hai

5) Weight- New Items Try Karte Rahega toh, Easily Baad Jayega 

5 things why to watch Ekta Kapoor Serials

1) Wearing Torn Clothes

2) Jeans not on Hip + Jockey or CK should be seen

3) Colouring the Hair

4) Shoes 1 leg different and other leg someother

5) Piercing near eyes, on tongue, etc

5 things u shud not say while reading news on TV

Five good reasons to be a man !!

1) You never ever have to change your surname. It stays intact
.
2) People talk to you seeing your face rather then anything else
.
3) Eat as much you want, as dieting is not an issue.
.
4) You don't have to waste time in doing stupid things
.
5) Last but not least, your ass is not the factor when you will get a job

5 people who should be given nobel peace prize

1) Manager of swiss bank – He has the art of converting black money into white money
2) MTV – After all it “changes” it’s look quite often, why not give it a try?
3) Any local thief – After nobel prize of ravindranath tagore was stolen, it’s better to give directly to them rather than dealing with 3rd party
4) Sunny Deol – Just 1 less movie on zee cinema and crores of Pakistani would be saved
5) Amit verma – After his behaviour in big boss-3 we thought it was a no ball peace prize

No matter whom they give the prize to, they will definitely regret it like in gandhiji’s case

5) Amit verma – After his behaviour in big boss-3 we thought it was a no ball peace prize

Five reasons to be single !!

1) Apne manpasand kapde pehenane ki azaadi. Undie kaisa bhi ho, par chalega
.
2)Khood pakaao, khood khaao, aur gaaliyon se mukti paao
.
3) Apne office ki receptionist se yeh nahi kehna hoga ki, If someone calls me, then say I am busy in meeting
.
4) Kissi bhi hotel mein kamra apne naam se book kara sakte hian
.
5) Last but not least. It saves Money

5 things which can prove you are from IndiaTV

1. When somebody asks you to come out of the loo quickly so instead he could go in, you say : Janta ki adalat mein aapka swagat hai.

2. When you see an electrician approaching, you shout : Wo dekho bijli wale baba!

3. When your mom shouts at you to help find her bangles, you say : Wo to sita ka tha, aur wo ayodhya ki pahadiyo ke pechhe ek rahasyamayi seher mein hi mil paega!

4. When somebody asks you when will china attack india again, you say : khabar hai ki 2012 mein ek aisa sehlab ayega ki kya china aur kya india!

5. When somebody says, Hey Wassup?, you say : door kahin dusre grah mein ek alien hai...ji haan ek alien jo ki Salman Khan jaisa dikhta hai....wo shahrukh ko apna kutta batata h......*the latter faints*

Five lines to be kept in mind while writing 'fantastic five' lines.

1)Use words not smileys.[its not your Yahoo chatboard]

2)Don't write abusive or hyper kinda words for anyone.

3)Don't used unecessary words in every line like LOL,Hahaha..

4)Make it simple and clear.5)Don't write more than five lines.