682  There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

657  My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

715  Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

709  Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'

751  Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.